1928 - Alderson High School - 1968


Why We Love The Children

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a  woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.  She was stark  naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my  5-year-old shout from the  back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat  belt!' 
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his  teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by  this child are not  necessarily those of his parents.' 
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.  During her  struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old  daughter to answer the  phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to  you right now. She's  hitting the bottle.' 
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the  women's locker  room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks,  with ladies grabbing  towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in  amazement and then  asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever  seen a little boy before?'
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary  school, I was  interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up  and down at my  uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered  and continued writing  the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should  ask the police. Is  that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told  her. 'Well, then,' she said as she  extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my  shoe?' 

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in  front of the  station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake,  was barking, and  I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you  got back there?' he  asked.  'It sure is,' I replied.  Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of  the van. Finally  he said, 'What'd he do?'

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to  elderly shut-ins,  I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon  rounds. She was  unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,  particularly the  canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring  at a pair of  false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the  inevitable  barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,  'The tooth fairy will  never believe this!'

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.  When she saw her  dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you  shouldn't wear that suit.'  'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next  morning'


While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church,  our minister heard  the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.  Apparently, his  5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.  Feeling that proper  burial should be performed, they had secured a small box  and cotton batting,  then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the  deceased.  The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate  prayers and with  sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his  father always  said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and  into the hole he  goes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)


A little girl had just finished her first week of school.  'I'm just wasting  my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't  read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated  as he fingered  through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the  Bible. He picked  up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf  that had been  pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.  'What have you got there, dear?'  With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he  answered, 'I think it's  Adam's underwear!'