I have finally gotten a little sense in the past 20 or so years, (as far as driving an automobile is concerned)! While I still may think my reflexes have remained as razor-sharp as ever, I know it is not true. Thus today, my driving style is more like the driving style taught years ago, and perhaps today, by the Rolls Royce Chauffeurs School. Now I try not to do things like brake suddenly, speed-up up abruptly, change lanes when I want and without too much thought for the vehicles behind me. I try to imagine an almost full glass of water on the dash and I try not to spill a drop. Most of all, I try not to have my passengers put on their non-existent brakes and suck in their breaths!

I know that I am supposed to drive at the same speed as the rest of the traffic on the road, but think of the implications of that! I can recall driving toward Richmond on Interstate I-64, traffic would be proceeding very nicely at 65 to 70 MPH, and then when we approached Parham Road, just on the outskirts of the city, I would suddenly realize we were driving at 80-85 without realizing it! Damn! Nowadays I try to drive just a mile or so slower than the prevailing traffic speed, I find I generally have a cushion of vacant roadway just ahead and often an area behind me as traffic zooms past. I enter the ramps to the highway at a sedately increasing speed and try to merge into the traffic overtaking me, only rarely do I ever have to zoom out like a idiot, although, I confess, occasionally the Devil makes me do just that!

Last year Pearl bought me a GPS device for my truck, we were at a family gathering at our son’s home in Monroe County and he installed and programmed it before we left. I was fascinated by my new toy on the way home. We always go to his place by Ft. Spring and return by the Wolf Creek Road, just for the change in scenery. I was interested in seeing if the device would actually choose the correct roads, It didn’t miss a trick, I was amazed, at every intersection, the lovely lady told me the right way to go.

Well, that is not really correct, just outside Sinks Grove, within a mile or so, when we reached Drapers Grade preparing to go down the mountain into the Wolf Creek valley, the lady told me to take the Flat Top Mountain Road that follows the top of the mountain and ultimately comes into Alderson near the old Copeland Chevrolet site. Since I had driven both roads many, many times I was quite sure that I did not want, that day, to go over Flat Mountain. I disobeyed, I ignored her directions! I committed the unpardonable Sin!

For the next twenty minutes we were subjected to her ever increasingly aggravated demands that I make a “U-Turn” at the next opportunity, (the harridan in the device knew every wide spot in the road). She became just barely civil and I began to become concerned that she was working herself into a stroke. Why I did not just unplug the devilish device from the lighter socket and shut her up, I don’t know, I should have done so and eased her pain. She could have quit “Recalculating”!

Finally we reached Alderson and passed the Flat Mountain Road I was certain we would be rid of the hussy! Wrong! She now demanded that I take a left at the Post Office, circle the block and go up the Flat Mountain Road. The silly bitch finally shut up when I parked under our carport.

My son had recommended that I purchase a high dollar plastic waterproof, radiation resistant, unbreakable box like his and hide my GPS under the seat when not in use. I put it in a Tupperware box along with a twenty dollar bill and leave it on the console. I leave the truck unlocked most of the time!