1928 - Alderson High School - 1968




Alex McLaughlin - November 22, 2012

It is all over the news. Hostess, the maker of Twinkies, cupcakes, donuts and many other tasty pastries, is closing. Some say that hostess products are full of preservatives and sugar. That may be true. So what? They are an American icon and I do not know how I will survive without the orange cupcakes.

Other will say this is the Armageddon. At Wal-Mart shelves are emptying quickly. You can still buy Twinkies and Hostess cupcakes on EBay. How long will this last? Twinkies are so indestructible that if you bake them today, they still may be "edible" 5 years down the road. But at some point there will be no Twinkies.

It is a very sad day and preparations are already being made for the last rites. Below is a dry run of a somber funeral for the Twinkie.


But I think this is all premature and I will tell you why. A federal judge has ordered management and the unions which were on strike to enter into mediation talks. Hopefully this will bring an end to this dispute which has led to the announcement of the closing of Hostess facilities and the laying off of 18,000 workers. The workers that are organized by the teamsters are in favor of management's original offer. On the other hand the bakers who are organized by another union opposed the company's offer and went on strike.

Why would the teamsters want to go along with the company and what does this have to do with the Aldersonian? Glad you asked. Some years ago a lone employee at the Alderson prison witnessed the burial of ex teamster leader, Jimmy Hoffa, at the Alderson prison. This individual is in the witness protection program and is known only as JM. A clue for the Aldersonian readers, his last name is McCurdy.

My conspiracy theory is that JM loves Hostess products. The Teamsters are afraid that if there are no Twinkies around that JM will break his vow of silence and once and for all end the dispute over where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. Why is this important? Name recognition. When the media mentions Jimmy Hoffa they also mention the Teamsters. If JM talks, no one will ever mention Jimmy Hoffa again and the teamsters will have to spend hundreds of thousands if not millions in advertising to get the same name recognition. You may think this is a wild story. If you don't believe me, watch JM"s house late at night and you will see a Hostess truck dropping off yummy supplies of Twinkies and cupcakes. Folks, Hostess will be saved. The teamsters will not take a chance that JM will talk.

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