Change is inevitable. Someone is always talking about how the nimble adapt to change and those that don't get left behind. I hope the following modern translations help some of the Alderson crowd adapt and prosper in the new world. You will note that some things never change while some things change beyond belief. This may even turn into a contest.

Old: Reach for the Sky!
New :IRS Audit

Old: Houston we have a Problem!
New: Washington you are the problem!

Old: Every where you go Toby Keeney
New: Everywhere you go cell phones

Old: Tortoise and hare
New: Rick Hughes and me

Old: World is flat
New: Global warming

Old: Rock Bar and Anvil rock
New: Sofa

Old: One Horse town
New: Two Bridge town

Old: Hillbilly
New: Hillbilly

Old: State of Virginia
New: East Virginia

Old: Other side of the world
New: Beckley

Old: paved road
New :Interstate

Old: President of the United States
New: POTUS

Old: Post Office
New :Internet

Old: Cutting the docks at Camp Greenbrier
New: Sofa

Old: Alderson High School
New: Aldersonian

Old: Looney tunes
New: California Democrat

Old: Swahili
New: Federal Tax code

Old: Speaking in Hungarian
New: President's state of the state.

Old: Jimmy Carter
New: Jimmy Carter

Old: Asbury
New: Asbury

Old: prison
New: Camp Cupcake

Old: Harry Meredith’s gulf station
New: Interpretative Center.

Old: Ball players from Muddy Creek Mountain
New: Ball players from Tennessee and Kenya

Old: Keadle's Esso
New Ross’s Exxon

Old: Dull summer
New: Biggest Fourth of July in West Virginia

Old Honest injun
New: No equivalent

Old: Snack shack
New Big Wheel

Old: Jim Rowe!!
New: Jim Rowe!!